damn

Not exactly in a sober state of mind. About 40 ounces of alcohol in. Been about a week since I've had a drink, but right now it helps me cope. Haven't touched a smoke in nearly two weeks, progress is good I guess.

Well anyway, wish I had  more good things to say. Going on with life at the moment and letting each day go by and trying to make something with it. But its hard when there's no end goal for that day. Internal issues seem that much bigger when you don't really know whats coming next.

A big realization since I've been home. The setting has been the same since I left, but the people, it's all different. I'd say I now only know less than 1% of the people I used to hang out / talk to in HS. But still glad that some of my boys are still with me to kick it like old times.

song of the day: Nas - Stay

it's a new day

song playing: jay-z ft. kanye west - new day
honorable mention: wiz khalifa - this plane

Wow... so much has changed the past 5 years. I looked at some blogs and damn, I'm fucking different. College has changed me a lot. But one thing that has not changed is the way I write.

Anyway, today, a new leaf will turn over for me. I went to get checked up at Kaiser because I finally got my health benefits from work. An ear problem has been plaguing me for nearly a year. I'm really thankful that I have a doctor to see now because my physical health has been rolling over my mental health.

Goodbye maryjane and goodbye all the bad shit to my body. I say this a lot but it's time to focus on fitness and get that natural high.